It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
