okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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