only you would photoshop your dick
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
