She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
