I wish I only lived at night.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
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