Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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