Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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