Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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