That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
