I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
