Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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