I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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