Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
