We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
