I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
