Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
