Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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