Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
