Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
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