Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
