So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
