Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize