the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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