the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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