FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
