oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
