Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
