He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
