I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Soap is not a condiment
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
