So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
