dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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