well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
