I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
my being single is dangerous.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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