my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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