Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
