do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
