those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
