she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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