thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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