Farmville is her only friend.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
