There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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