we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
