toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
