Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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