I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
