Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
