Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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