You really coming over, don't trick.
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
