member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
