Please, let me fuck your mom
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
